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Memorial created 11-26-2005 by
Loretta Gilfoy
Shirley May (Souza) Reine
August 8 1953 - May 9 2005

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06-09-2006 2:38 PM -- By: Scotty forwarded to Loretta,  From: Massachusetts  

I just received another poem from Scotty. I still can't beleive how wonderful he writes.

~ DO YOU THINK ~

DO YOU THINK SHE EVER WANTED TO JUST GO AND GET AWAY. FOR A WEEK OR A WEEKEND OR MAYBE FOR A DAY.

DO YOU THINK SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED TO GO TO A FAR AWAY LAND AND BAKE IN THE SUN AND TICKLE HE TOES IN THE SAND.

DO YOU THINK SHE WAS IN LOVE AND IT MADE HER BOUND TO HER BELIEFS OR WAS IT THE FEAR OF LIVING A LIFETIME FILLED WITH TRAGEDYS AND GRIEFS.

DO YOU THINK SHE DREAMED OF HOW DIFFERENT IT COULD BE, TO LIVE BY HER OWN DECISIONS AMD BE ABSOLUTELY FREE.

DO YOU THINK SHE EVER THOUGHT OF ANOTHER WAY OF LIFE, OF BEING MORE THAN A SERVANT, A STEP-MOTHER AND A WIFE.

DO YOU THINK SHE'S LOOKING DOWN AND REGRETS THE WAY IT WAS CAUSE SHE OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT THESE THINGS AND A CHANGE WAS SOON TO COME

YOU AND I BOTH KNOW, SHE DAMN WELL IS...

I MISS HER TOO!


06-09-2006 2:31 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: E. Falmouth  

Today marks 13 months, and in the last 13 months I have struggled and I've been working on how to deal with the pain. Will there ever be a time when I won't feel this emptiness? Sure I go through the motions of every day life, but sometimes I just want to run and run until I can't run any more. I just want to escape reality and have it be like it was 13 months ago. My god, sometimes I feel I can't get a grip and that I'm slipping away. Why does grief have to grab hold of you and feel like it strangles you? I miss u so much Shirl! I want you back, more then anything.


05-10-2006 9:05 AM -- By: Loretta Gilfoy,  From: E. Falmouth  

We sat at your grave last night and lit your candle around 8:30 pm. God I'm still in awe, it still seems so unbelievable that this has happened. Then some days reality sets in and at times feels unbearable. As I sat this morning @ 5:30am having my coffee, I think I felt your presense in the room. I looked at the clock it was 5:38am. Was that the time? The time when you were found and the tidal wave took over and smashed down upon us with unimaginable force and swept us into darkness where we tumbled and crashed? I know there is still a long road ahead and I hope you will continue to give me hope and peace in each new day and make my journey lead me to a new place of healing. I LOVE YOU BITZ.


05-09-2006 10:46 PM -- By: Loretta Gilfoy,  From: E. Falmouth  

Loss Of A Sibling: To lose a sibling is to lose oneself, For a part of me is gone… And now I’m left to reminisce As I try to carry on. The thought of you not being here Has torn my world apart… Yet everyday I feel you near; a blessing to my heart. Your memory comforts me today In ways I wish you knew… But tears are falling from the pain That comes from losing you. I see your face in the morning sun And in the moon at night… I wonder how you’re feeling now, I pray that you’re alright. And one day when my time has come To soar with eagles wings... We’ll be joined forevermore To laugh, to live, to sing

04-16-2006 5:40 PM -- By: Alex,  From: E. Falmouth, MA  

Dear Auntie Shirley, HAPPY EASTER, I miss you like crazy XOXO

04-16-2006 5:36 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: E. Falmouth, MA  

Today is Easter and the vision that has been going through my head was the Easter when Alex was either 4 or 5 and he had a pile of colored plastic Easter eggs sitting on the chair. You decided to park your ass on them and then you start clucking like a chicken pretending you were laying them colorful eggs. God that was so damn funny! It has kept a smile on my face all day today. You goof ball. Gee, I miss those laughs and fun times. I miss you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo MUCH.

04-09-2006 10:21 PM -- By: Scotty forwarded to Loretta,  From: Massachusetts  

I receievd another poem from Scotty yesterday.I never knew he had this wonderful writing ability, nor did I realize what an impact Shirley had on him. It was written on a piece of white material decorated with hand drawn butterflies and hearts. I plan to frame it and keep it on my desk. I hope you all in enjoy it.

Beautiful was she and a Woman of the World; She was a daughter, and a sister, an aunt to a little boy, a delicate pearl XOXO

She'd win you over by simply using her charm, Wrapping you around her finger, to her, it wasn't at all, very hard. XOXO

Whenever you'd see her, Her sun would be shining; If you were feeling sad and blue, she'd walk up and blind you. XOXO

She could warm your Heart, like coals on a fire; When she asked you for things, you couldn't deny her. XOXO

So, add up all of these things that are facts; They all mean what Shirley was to us- "Equality" to the max.


04-09-2006 9:56 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: E. Falmouth, MA  

Today is April 9, 2006, it has been exactly 335 days today that I haven't seen your smiling face. I miss you so damn much!

I understand you've left my world forever... never to be with me again, physically on this earth... except in my heart...you will remain forever.

I luv you Shirl.

04-04-2006 3:17 PM -- By: Barbara (Souza)Contreras,  From: Yuma, AZ  

I can't believe it will be a year next month that you were taken away from us. It still feels like it happened yesterday. I miss talking to you over the phone, and talking about what is new in our lives. Right now I need your strength in my life that you gave to so many others. I know you believed in God to give you strengh through all the hard times these last few years of your life. I will do the same through Jesus name.

03-17-2006 11:46 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: E. Falmouth  

I sat at your grave yesterday and asked you to give me some sort of sign. This morning you did:) I had to bury my little love bug Oreo today. When I had woke up this morning, my sweet guinea pig had taken his last breath. As I stood there by his cage at 5:30 am whimpering like a baby, Alex had woken up and asked me what was wrong, I told him that Oreo went to find Auntie Shirley and no sooner did I say that the power went off for a second and clicked back on. I had felt something had entered my body through my chest and for 1/4 of a second it took my breath away. Was that you? Were you trying to tell me that you were waiting for him? It was spooky. but also very exciting. I felt you Shirl and it was awesome. Now you keep a special eye out for him and don't try to feed him ice cream like you used to here on Earth. It gives him a belly ache, you know! I Love you both

03-09-2006 10:50 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: E. Falmouth  

Today makes 10 months that you've been ripped from our lifes and today Ricky has gone to find you and Lucy. May you know that he lived it up these past 10 months. Louie and Carol took him into their hearts and made him extremely happy, because he was missing you so. He was the talk of Ennsbrook Road. I thank them both for the caring they have expressed to both Ricky and myself. Watch over them for me. I LOVE ya and MISS you terribly Shirl.

REMEMBER...............................ALWAYS, LOVE...................................ETERNALLY FORGET.................................NEVER

03-09-2006 5:14 PM -- By: Louis Carbone,  From: Mars  

Addendum: Ricky will be interred on his farm in Mashpee. He helped lots of folks like myself cope with the initial shock of losing Shirley, and I feel blessed to have had him in my life.

03-09-2006 2:45 PM -- By: Louis Carbone,  From: Cape Cod  

It is the with greatest sadness that I pass on the news that Shirley's beloved goat, Ricky, was euthanized at Tufts Veterinary School today. His adoptive parents, Debbie Umina and Vinnie Bartlett, gave him the most wonderful home the last year of his life. He had a summer room, a winter room and a deck from where he'd oversee his barnyard kingdom. He will be missed by the horses, dogs and birds on his farm.

03-05-2006 1:38 PM -- By: Cindy,  From:  

Hey Shirl,Time is going quickly down here for us and I can't believe it is almost a year coming up. We miss you. The shock still seems like it is slowly disappearing but as soon as we think about it...were in shock again!Confused? Yeah I'll say. This is one of those weird dreams that you don't wake up from until justice is served. I'm glad you are at peace.I miss you alot! :(

02-21-2006 9:01 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: E. Falmouth, MA  

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy!

02-21-2006 8:52 PM -- By: A NOTE FROM SHIRL,  From: FROM HEAVEN  

I Did Not Die

In life we're never quite ready to say that last "Goodbye", so listen now as I state the truth: I've changed, but I did not die!

I don't need that tired, worn body for I've changed like the butterfly. And now I'm in my Heavenly home that wonderous place in the sky!

Jesus was faithful in His promise and He promised I would live again. My joy has now been made complete and my Peace, you can't understand.

So, don't stand by my grave and weep. Instead, wipe that tear from your eye and know how much I still love you all. Know in your heart I did not die!

02-09-2006 7:29 PM -- By: Alex,  From: E. Falmouth  

I miss you Auntie Shirley

02-09-2006 7:27 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: Falmouth  

Dear Shirl, Today makes 9 months since you've been gone. Somedays it feels like it happened just yesterday and then other days it feels like it happened so long ago. I seem to be losing track of time, without you. I will continue to pray for your guidence and pray that justice will be served. I have a good feeling inside that our day will be coming. I'll be thinking of you between 8:30 - 9:00 tonight. I love ya

01-25-2006 8:01 PM -- By: Scotty forwarded to Loretta,  From: Massachusetts  

Scotty met Shirley & Mel when he was 7 years old, he is now 38. Through out the years they have taken Scotty under their wings. They may have had a roller coaster relationship, but he cared a great deal for both of them. Scotty now sits in a Correctional Facility. He has put his heart and soul into this poem.

HATS OFF TO SHIRLEY

When I first laid my eyes upon her, She was just an innocent and silly young girl. Her eyes would always squint when she smiled, And it would shine all over the world.

With such a pretty face on the outside, Her ways and gestures were all too sweet. Her heart was her most beautiful pocession, She completely swept me off my feet.

I have gone to her at times in my life, And I was falling down and drugs had taken a bite, It was almost as if she had this magical wand, She'd wave it over me until I respond.

I'll never understand if it was pure fear or love, Or whatever could have trapped her, till she was pulled up above. Although she was hurting and going through hell Her smile would cover up those feelings all so well.

So hats off to my second mother, And with love to your older sister. God is caring for her now, And I would do anything to trade places with her.


01-25-2006 6:09 PM -- By: Shawn,  From: Falmouth  

Yes I to miss Shirley very much! She was a gift from god! I can only look to the sky and try to understand. But there are only tears. You are always in my heart shirley!


01-25-2006 5:39 PM -- By: Rachel,  From:  

I miss her terribly and her absent this holiday season left my family confused and sadden. We pray for justice and hope to find peace.

God Bless Evelyn, Barbara, Loretta, and Alex through these difficult times.

We love you all and are there for you whenever you need a friend to lean on.


01-24-2006 9:01 PM -- By: Cindy,  From: Mass  

To my Shirley, I met you at such a young age (16)& I looked to you as my mentor/mother. I thought what a smart old lady! You were 27! I thought I knew it all and yet everyday you would teach me more. You were there for all my gossip, craziness,boyfriends...then kids, and husband. I think you enjoyed the soap opera. Hey Lucy, I'm Home! Your heart was big& kind to all, Devoted,commited and genuine what a friend you are/were. You are the light now for a lot of us as we still sit in disbelieve. The only reason I am at peace within is knowing you too are at Peace within. No more fear, no more stress and no more worries. God I miss you!!! I see your smile still in my mind of the last day I saw you. If only I hugged you like I wanted. As for now we will pray for your justice and sister we will AMEN you when we have it.Shirley May you'll always be in our hearts. Love ya Cindy :)


01-16-2006 8:34 PM -- By: Barbara (Souza)Contreras,  From: Yuma, AZ  

Dear Shirley, who would of thought that 2 1/2 years ago when I hugged you goodbye, that would be the last time I see you alive. I think about that alot. I miss you. You will always be alive in my heart.

Remember when we made that tape recording with Loretta, we were singing and I was playing the guitar? Well, I found it and played it. I cried and laughed at the same time. Dad's voice is on it too (he was doing the recording). We did a pretty good job.

Who ever did this to you will be caught. It's just a matter of time. You are in my heart and prayers. Love, Barb


01-16-2006 8:03 PM -- By: alex gilfoy,  From: e. falmouth  

dear auntie shirley, i miss you. i miss you and i picking on my mom. i miss your desserts. i miss you so much.

01-15-2006 10:15 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: Falmouth, Massachusetts  

Today I turned 45 and remember how we always goofed around and said that I would see a shrink when I turn 45, we laughed about it for years. Who would of thought that I would be seeking help before 45 for my griefing. How ironic!

I read something the other day in someone elses memorial that said. the victim gets the death penalty, the victims family gets a life sentence and the killer gets 10 to 20 years.......How true is that!

01-10-2006 7:44 PM -- By: gena,  From: falmouth  

hi shirley, i just got this beautiful e-mail and loretta has really out done herself ! you would be so proud of her. she has truely put her heart and soul into making this memorial specail. you not only have a wonderful family and friends that love and miss you, but you also captured the hearts of many aquaintances throughout your lifr. we all miss you very much, may you rest in peace. xoxoxoxoxoxo gena and pete

01-08-2006 1:06 AM -- By: Kathy Crobar,  From: Massachusetts  

Shirley, I miss you so much. Every once in a while, if you're lucky, someone special enters your life. In 1987, that someone was you. I can still picture you in your little bathrobe, wet hair and cooking jag for a motley cast of characters. From there we have traveled thru many high times, filled with tons of laughter, and a smattering of tears. I remember the time you hit the wrong button during billing and wiped everything out of the computer. We had lots of tears when we realized we had to hand write the monthly billing..YeeHaw. I treasure every memory and will hold them tight in the days to come. I trust you are keeping an eye on Loretta and me and we'll try not to be to stupid. I love you and will miss you always. Justice is a comin soon.

12-25-2005 10:20 PM -- By: Loretta,  From: Massachusetts  

Today is Christmas Day, and you were missed very much by all. I pray that you are at peace and that you are watching over us. I need your strength more then anything right now. I love you Shirley Girl!!!!

12-21-2005 8:26 AM -- By: Loretta,  From: Mass  

I'm having a very hard time, these past couple of weeks. You are constantly on my mind. I miss you soooooooooooooooooo much. I still can't beleive you are gone. It hurts so badly.

 

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